Blog Archives - Page 5 of 15 - Brain over Binge

Mindfulness Coaching (New to the Course!)

As a Brain over Binge course member, you get access to 1 new track per month (either a Q&A track or a coaching track), plus a recorded live stream where I answer questions.

For the past 2 months, I’ve added a new type of coaching track that provides powerful mindfulness coaching.

This type of coaching guides you through mindfulness exercises that allow you to…

Become more aware
Notice your thoughts
Strengthen your higher brain
Feel connected with your body
Ground yourself in a sense of calm

Mindfulness coaching tracks are created and recorded by Julie, our new Brain over Binge coach, and there will be many more of these tracks added in the future!

I want to give you a sample of a mindfulness coaching track that centers around self-compassion. You can read a description of the full mindfulness coaching track below, learn how it can help you, and then listen to the 3 minute clip. (The full tracks average about 10 minutes long, including pauses for reflection and mindful breathing.)

Mindfulness Track 1: Self-Compassion (Sample below)

This track will help you develop compassion for yourself as you work on ending binge eating. Self-criticism makes change much more difficult, so it’s important to learn to support yourself during the recovery process. Through self-compassion, you can accept your humanity and mistakes, while still developing strength and resilience to pursue your goal of being binge-free.

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Learn more about the course (only $18.99 per month for 8 lessons and over 120 tracks!)

vacations traveling binge eating recovery

Vacations and Traveling in Binge Eating Recovery

by Kathryn Hansen

If you are trying to recover from binge eating, you may be wondering how to handle vacations and traveling. You may be concerned that being out of your normal routine and eating foods you don’t usually eat will interfere with your efforts to become and stay binge-free. Also, certain warm-weather vacations involve wearing swimsuits or other clothes that bring up some body image concerns or desires to lose weight.

I want to give you some simple ideas to stay on track in recovery during travel, so that you can enjoy your vacation experience, and stay committed to ending the habit—no matter where you are or what you are doing. It’s important to learn to deal with variations in your routine, because the point of recovering is so that you can live your life without feeling held back by the eating disorder. You definitely don’t want to have to always keep one set routine in order to avoid binges, because that’s very limiting and it doesn’t give you the freedom that you want.

Simplify: Focus on the Two Recovery Goals

My first tip for vacation or travel is to remember that regardless of your location or situation, all you have to do for recovery is two things: 1. Dismiss the urges to binge, and 2. Eat adequately. If you’ve followed my podcast, blog, or read the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide, you know that those are the two goals of the brain over binge approach. Those two recovery goals do not change when you’re away from home or when you’re engaging in activities that you don’t normally do. You may think that you need to do something special for different situations, and there is definitely value in being prepared (which I’ll talk about next), but know that you are ultimately just trying to not binge and to eat enough to support your efforts to not binge. You don’t need to make things overly complicated.

You can prepare to stay on track in recovery during vacation by making plans that will help you with both recovery goals. This is especially helpful when it comes to eating adequately while you are out of your normal routine. If you can generally plan (in a flexible way) for where and when you’ll have your meals and snacks, it can allow you to you feel more secure knowing that you aren’t going to let yourself get too hungry, which can be a setup for that survival drive to binge. If you’re going to be with others and therefore not in full control of when and where you’ll be eating, then it can be helpful to have some food on hand that you can eat if you’ll be waiting a long time between meals.

For the recovery goal of dismissing urges, there isn’t anything specific you need to do, but you can take a look at your patterns and determine when urges may be likely to come up on your vacation, and then develop plans to support yourself in dismissing them. For example, if you tend to have urges after meals and you find that it helps you to get out of the eating environment, you can plan to go for walks after you eat. Keep in mind that the activities you choose to do while you are experiencing urges aren’t meant to take the urges away, but doing something else can give you the time and space you need to connect with your higher brain and dismiss the urges. If you are new to dismissing urges to binge, you can learn the basics in my free PDF.

Don’t Let Negative Body Thoughts Lead to Binge Eating

If you travel in warm weather, or vacation at the beach, you may be concerned about what you’ll wear and how you’ll look. Even if you know rationally that you can enjoy yourself regardless of your weight or body size, you may have habitual negative body thoughts that pop up when you step out of your comfort zone with what you wear. It’s important to remember that it’s these body thoughts that you need to learn to manage, and your weight will take care of itself as you stay consistent with the two recovery goals. When you try to do the opposite—and attempt to manage your weight (with a restrictive diet), in order to get your body thoughts to go away—it has the unintended effect of making your binge eating worse, and making it harder to reach your natural healthy weight over time. (For thorough discussions about many weight-related topics, go to BrainoverBinge.com/Weight/)

No matter how you’re feeling about the way you look, and no matter if you’re comparing yourself to others, you can continue to eat enough food to support your recovery and to let your body heal. That doesn’t mean you should just let negative thoughts take over, because it’s definitely helpful to learn to stop being so critical of your own body. Being comfortable and confident does help you enjoy experiences more, but it’s not something that happens overnight; so for now, you can learn to enjoy experiences while having some automatic, habitual, negative body thoughts. You can dismiss and disregard the thoughts as much as you can, and you will get more skilled at this over time as the thoughts fade away. (Listen to Episode 40: Body Image and Binge Eating for more help with body image issues).

You also don’t have to feel great about your body to avoid binge eating. It’s possible you have a pattern right now of feeling unhappy with your body, and then having thoughts like, “I’ll never look the way I want, so I might as well binge.” When you learn to recognize thoughts like this as neurological junk, and when you don’t let those thoughts drive your actions, you are well on your way to a binge-free vacation, and a binge-free life.

Visualize Your Vacation Success

My next tip for you is to visualize or mentally rehearse how you’ll successfully handle challenging situations while you are out of your normal routine. For example, if you know that binge urges tend to arise when you feel negatively about your body, you can try to imagine having those body image concerns, and mentally rehearse what the thoughts urging you to binge might say. Then, you can see yourself (in your mind) not giving those binge thoughts any attention and refocusing on your vacation. If you’re someone who feels tempted to engage in restrictive dieting, you can also visualize yourself being successful at eating adequately in situations where you may be tempted to under-eat.

If you need a little extra help with this, I’ve created a recording to guide you in visualizing your success in dismissing urges (coaching track 4) and another one to help you imagine being successful at eating adequately (coaching track 11), and if you are a course member, I recommend that you listen to these two tracks prior to and during your trip, as well as other coaching tracks that help you stay on the path to recovery. If you are not a member, know that the course now includes an app that makes it convenient to listen on the go, and it’s only $18.99 per month for the coaching tracks plus over 100 other course resources to guide you toward freedom from binge eating. There is no long-term commitment, so you can get the course just for extra help on your trip and then cancel when you’re ready.

Allow for Flexibility

My final tip is to allow for flexibility and know that you do not have to be perfect on this vacation—or ever—and you can still avoid binge eating. This doesn’t mean you’ll give yourself excuses to overindulge in a problematic way on vacation, it means you need to realize that no one eats perfectly, and especially on vacation when you’re often eating out a lot. Your eating will be different than it is at home, and that’s okay. You can see this as an opportunity to learn that you can eat normally in any situation and eat normal amounts of any food.

If you’re used to eating healthy most of the time, and you won’t have the ability to cook or have access to your regular nutritious foods, this may bring up some anxiety. But, this is a great chance to teach yourself that you can be successful regardless of the types of foods you are eating. Eating in a way that’s less healthy than usual does not mean you’re binge eating or that you’re doing something wrong in recovery. It gives you so much freedom to know that you are capable of eating fast food, or convenience food, or delicious food at a restaurant, and still avoid going into an out-of-control binge. It’s impossible to eat in a perfect way your whole life, and vacation is a great opportunity to practice imperfection and still stay on track in recovery.

Focus on Living!

My last simple tip is the most important, and that’s to enjoy your vacation! Each time your brain tries to habitually pull your focus toward food, weight, or bingeing, you can consciously redirect your focus toward what truly matters to you. Focus on the people you are with, the sights you are seeing, the activities you are engaged in, and the pleasure of a break from your normal daily schedule. You deserve to live free of this habit, and you can start stepping into that binge-free version of yourself right now.

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If you want extra guidance as you use the Brain over Binge approach, here are some resources for additional support:

Brain over Binge Course – Self-paced online lessons (plus an app) for only $18.99/month. Includes over 125 tracks to listen to that give you the information and answers you need as you end binge eating.

Group Coaching – Get help from coach Julie and support from others who are overcoming this habit. Includes a forum that is open 24/7, group coaching calls, mindfulness resources, plus course access.

One-on-one Coaching – Book a 45-minute private session with coach Julie. She will help you change your thinking, uncover what is holding you back, and get on a path to complete freedom from food issues.

Making Commitments Last in Binge Eating Recovery

by Kathryn Hansen

When I was a binge eater, I seemed to have endless Day 1’s. What I mean by this is—telling myself it was Day 1 of my binge-free life, because I had resolved to never binge again. I had too many of these new starts to count.

New starts were sometimes spontaneous, for example, when I would wake up feeling awful after a binge and declare it was Day 1, and that I’d never do that to myself again. But more commonly, I planned my Day 1 in advance and lined it up with an occasion like my birthday, New Year’s, or even just with the start of a new week or month. I often picked a Day 1 that coincided with my next therapy appointment, or when I was going to start a new meal plan, or a new strategy in recovery. If I had an important event coming up—like a friend’s wedding—when I wanted to be at my best, I’d sometimes set my Day 1 to be a certain number of days or weeks in advance of that event.

Leading up my self-declared Day 1, I would often do things like buy a new journal, or make a new chart to track all the binge-free days I knew I was going to have, or come up with a new reward system for myself for when I was successful, or create elaborate plans for my upcoming binge-free days—thinking that if I somehow blocked out every minute with something to do, then I would not binge. In addition to any planning I did for Day 1, I always did a lot of bingeing as well. I would usually binge all the way until the “official” start date and time that I had set for myself.

My new plans and new commitments had good intentions, but they typically did not last very long. Until I finally recovered for good, I rarely got to day 3 or day 4 without a binge, regardless of the plan I implemented. So it seemed like I was always either bingeing or starting over on Day 1 with a new plan—that led right back to bingeing. Each time, I really thought that setting the new commitment would help, but I stayed stuck in this frustrating cycle.

When I was caught up in this, I couldn’t really see what was happening. I seemed to automatically go into planning a new Day 1 or making a new resolution, without stopping to think about why the last one hadn’t worked. I don’t think I ever really slowed down to observe what I was doing, and how my thoughts and actions were getting in the way of my progress.

Knowing what I know now, I want to help you feel better prepared to make a commitment to binge eating recovery, so in this post, I want to give you some advice on making commitments last.

Avoid Thinking of “Day 1” in a Literal Way—You are Not Starting Over in Binge Eating Recovery

It’s understandable that you want to make a commitment to stop binge eating, and it’s great that you want to be free of this habit that’s causing you so much pain. But, if you’ve been trying to recover for any amount of time, you’re never truly starting over at Day 1. I suggest that you stop thinking of recovery attempts as brand new starts. You can even stop using the term Day 1 altogether.

You already have knowledge and experience that you can use to your advantage as you fully end the binge eating habit, and thinking you have to go all the way back to the starting line makes recovery seem daunting. Imagine recovery to be like running a race with hurdles—the runners don’t go back to the starting line every time they trip over a hurdle. They simply get up and keep running—committed to jumping the next hurdle, and the next, until they finish the race. They begin again from the place where they fall, and they can still complete the race successfully.

You’ve already made progress in recovery, even if you are struggling right now, so look at your commitment as a continuation, rather than a new beginning. You are committed to finishing the race, to doing your absolute best from this day forward, even if you trip over other hurdles along the way. With this mentality, you will arrive at where you want to be, so try thinking of new commitments in terms of renewed focus, not in terms of going backward and starting at Day 1 again.

Even With a New Commitment to Stop Binge Eating, You Will Still Have the Same Brain

The next piece of advice I’ll give you is to know that your new commitment doesn’t undo the binge eating habit in your brain. You may think that your new commitment or new plan will usher in a new you who does not want to binge, or at least does not want to binge much at all. The reality is that the you that shows up to refocus on recovery has fundamentally the same brain pathways and the same physiology that you did the day before your new commitment. Once you repeat the behavior of binge eating many times, it becomes habitual—wired into your primitive brain centers. Furthermore, the large quantities of food that you’re consuming affect your physiology, digestion, hunger signals, and cravings; and recommitting to recovery does not automatically give you a new body and a new brain.

As you refocus on recovery, and stay committed, your brain and body will gradually change as you decondition the habit. Your brain and body will get the message that you’re no longer binge-eating, and they will adapt accordingly. The problem that I made and that a lot people make is thinking that there will be little to no temptation if they are firmly committed to recovery. This is not the case, because your brain is not yet wired as someone who does not binge.

It is true that you don’t want to binge anymore. You, in your higher brain—the part of your brain responsible for your goals and plans and rational thinking—absolutely does desire recovery. But it’s also important to understand that your lower brain is still conditioned to react as if the habit is absolutely necessary, and it will still send urges for the behavior.

When I didn’t understand my lower and higher brain, it was so frustrating that—despite my shiny new chart to keep track of my success, despite my beautiful new recovery journal, or meal plan, or therapist—I still felt driven to binge. Because I didn’t realize that desire for the habit is a normal part of habit change, I lost focus and I lost my commitment when I had that desire. When I started feeling those binge urges on Day 2, 3, or 4 of my fresh new start, I assumed it was because I truly did want to binge after all.

This made me so angry with myself to want two completely different things—complete freedom and non-stop binge eating—in just a matter or days, or even hours. When the urges to binge got strong, I gave in; and in those moments, it was as if I concluded that binge eating was what I really wanted, and that the new commitment I’d made wasn’t actually me.

But after the binge, I always wished I could erase it. I wished I could go back to being that “new commitment” me. So yet again, I created a new plan and I said that this time I would keep my promise. I’m telling you this so you will understand that a new or renewed commitment does not make your urges to binge go away. Having urges to binge even when you are committed to recovery is totally normal, and does not mean anything is wrong with you. It means your brain is operating as it should.

When you make a commitment to recovery, it then becomes your job to begin to rewire your brain, using whatever support and whatever approach helps you. The day you decide to focus on recovery is the day you will begin to chip away at this habit in your brain. The commitment may help give your higher brain some strength and motivation, but you will still feel a pull toward the harmful behaviors at times, and it’s important that you don’t let this surprise you. You can allow those tempting feelings to pass, while keeping your commitment to remain binge free, and those urges will fade in time.

A “Last Binge” Will Only Make New Commitments More Difficult

I’ve talked and written about the “one last binge” mentality before, and I encourage you to check out this blog post and podcast episode for more on this topic; but there can be another layer to this mentality as well—which relates to making new commitments. What can happen is…in the days before you know you want to really commit to recovery, you can have thoughts that say having “one last binge” will actually help you when it’s time for your commitment to begin. You may believe these thoughts for two reasons:

First, you may think that having a last binge or a last string of binges before a new commitment will finally make you feel satisfied. You may believe that you’ll finally feel like you’ve had enough, and then you’ll be totally ready to give up the habit.

Looking at it from a brain-based perspective, this belief does not make logical sense. Each time you try to have a “last binge” to fully satisfy the habitual desire, you only strengthen that desire and the neural pathways and physiological processes that fuel it. You teach your lower brain that you need to binge even more—you do not teach it that you are ready to quit. This sets you up to have a more difficult time when the day of your commitment arrives.

Due to your “last binge” or “last binges” (in an attempt to silence the urges once and for all), you’ve created stronger urges, and also stretched your stomach and affected your digestion so that cravings are worse, and it’s harder to eat normally. Going into a recovery attempt while dealing with the acute after-affects of binge eating makes everything much more challenging. You can definitely overcome these challenges, but you’ll make it easier on yourself if you don’t have these big, “last” binges.

The second reason you may believe you need to have one last binge, or several last binges, before you refocus on recovery is because you think the binges will make you feel so badly afterward that you will never want to do it again. You know the pain that comes after binges, and you may think that the pain will deter you from ever wanting to binge again—which will make your new commitment last. But, this is also working against you—again because of how the brain works:

When the lower brain is conditioned to binge, or to have any other destructive habit, you’ll still have a desire for it regardless of the pain that it causes. When you are feeling driven to binge, you don’t usually remember the pain of past binges. As much as you can try to remind yourself of the pain, it doesn’t convince the lower brain. Binge eating in advance of a new attempt to quit will not somehow make the lower brain remember the consequences of binge eating.

Any thoughts that say “one last binge” will benefit you and your commitment are faulty, lower-brain thoughts that you can learn to dismiss. The sooner you can start dismissing these thoughts, and any other thoughts that encourage binge eating, the better position you’ll be in to break this habit for good.

I hope the ideas I’ve shared here will help you make a new commitment and make it last!

If you want help becoming and staying binge-free, you can get my course (only $18.99 per month), and also get personalized support and accountability with one-on-one coaching or group coaching.

Customized Support and Accountability: One-on-One Coaching

by Kathryn Hansen

Do you want to take back your life from binge eating, but continue to feel trapped?

Do you have temporary success and then find yourself back to old habits?

Do you have trouble following through with what you know you need to do to recover?

Do you resonate with the Brain over Binge approach, but feel confused about how to make it work for you?

Do you wonder what is holding you back from letting go of binge eating completely?

If any of these questions apply to you, or if you feel like you’re having trouble even getting started in recovery, then I want you to consider that personalized coaching can help you get on a path to a binge-free life. I believe anyone is capable of overcoming binge eating, but sometimes the additional insight and inspiration that a coach brings is fundamental to helping you create the change you want.

Imagine having someone there to guide you as you uncover what is keeping you stuck in harmful patterns. Imagine having someone who will hold you accountable for your commitments. If you are a course member, imagine how powerful it would be to have someone supporting you as you learn and apply the material in a way that fits your life.

I’m very grateful that my amazing colleague, friend, and former course member—who is now completely free of her struggle with food—is able to offer one-on-one coaching to binge eaters.

I want to introduce you to the new Brain over Binge coach—Julie!

Julie overcame bingeing and other harmful eating behaviors after a nearly 40-year battle. She has a deep understanding of the brain-based principles that I share here, as well as thorough and practical knowledge of mindfulness. Julie can give you support in any area where you need help, whether that’s in learning to dismiss urges, eat adequately, or deal with related issues you are facing.

Julie has been where you are, and her warmth, compassion, and coaching style will comfort you, but also motivate you to finally let go of binge eating.

I’ll let Julie tell you about herself in her own words, as well as explain her process and pricing:

I went through my own journey with Kathryn which began in 2014 when I reached out to her after reading Brain over Binge as my husband died. Her program helped me recover from binge eating after struggling with it for almost 40 years. I have truly been there and I assure you, if I can be free and fully recovered from binge eating, anyone can!

I’ll be happy to help you on your path to FULLY recovering from binge eating, trusting yourself in ALL kinds of eating situations, and help you as you gain back precious time, mental space, energy and peace—to put back into your LIFE!

I absolutely love one-one-one coaching, because I get to see the amazing transformations that occur when people invest in themselves and show up to do the work in their sessions. I will give you customized strategies based on what you uniquely need to keep moving toward a binge-free life. My role is to provide accountability, and help you create the changes you want in a peaceful and sustainable way.

The most incredible part of my job is seeing clients regaining their life after binge eating. They are finally open to new possibilities, and no longer wasting time, energy, and money on the struggle with food. They have their brains back—so they can pursue career goals, deepen relationships and create new ones, focus on important financial goals, and finally just be present and enjoy the moment.

I’d love to work with you in a 45-minute session (Zoom call). During this time, I can help you explore any part of the Brain over Binge strategies where you might be feeling stuck. After any call you have with me, I share my notes with you so that you can remember and apply the most important points. You will also get a recording of our call so that you can refer back to it anytime you need. Additionally, I provide daily email support for clients who work with me on an ongoing basis; and if you only have one call, I’m happy to provide a few follow-up emails to make sure you are on track.

Prior to our session, I will get to know you and your unique struggles through a detailed intake form. I prepare extensively for each call—making sure I understand what is going on for you, and how I can best help.

The investment for a 45-minute call (plus call notes), and one follow-up email is $180.

You can book a spot on my calendar to get started.

I’d love to help you get on a path to being free of binge eating forever!

Client testimonials

“I have known and worked with Julie for about a year now and her empathy and kindness still blows me away every day. She understands the struggle with food and is great with giving new perspectives that are hard to see on your own. I’ve had so many lightbulb moments with her that have helped me cement my knowledge and obtain a deeper level of learning. I would highly recommend Julie’s coaching to anyone struggling with binge eating that wants to make massive progress.” – Ashley

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“I started working with Julie about a month ago. I have learned how to readjust my thinking and habits. Her sessions are simultaneously laser-focused and specific while staying flexible and positive the whole time. It feels like I’m just sitting and talking with a friend who isn’t judging me AND giving really helpful targeted advice! I leave every session with really clear “homework” to act on or think about. She always has great insight for things I haven’t thought of or considered before, and she’s really teaching me how to focus on becoming the fulfilled and well-rounded person I know I can be. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I am actually going to achieve the goals we set out together. I can’t recommend her highly enough!” – Liz

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“Julie has been coaching me on several occasions. She has a unique ability to be gentle, and at the same time, highly motivational in searching for answers with me to end “struggles” and find peaceful new ways to deal with urges. It is really amazing how much you can move in a good direction with only a few minutes of coaching” – Charlotte

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“Julie’s calm and non-judgmental presence was so comforting and reassuring to me. She has such a deep and personal understanding of the issues I was facing, and she was able to guide me toward insights that had a profound effect on my recovery path. Through Julie’s kind questioning and uplifting spirit, I learned how to accept my full self and begin to practice self-compassion. Her mindfulness-based approach was truly the missing piece for me. I absolutely loved working with Julie, and recommend her coaching for anyone looking to overcome their eating issues and embrace all of life’s joys.” – Melissa

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“The coaching sessions with Julie have been an immense support over the last few weeks for me. With Julie’s whole-hearted attitude and genuine kindness, I was able to open up to her and also be completely honest to myself through that. This was the fire in my journey of becoming binge free for good and also working on my thought patterns and allowing and processing all kinds of emotions. Julie is not only very empathetic, she brings a knowledge from brain science, to mindfulness and compassion, and in-depth experience about how to work on emotional and binge eating. With Julie’s focus on the wins and successes, I am not only transforming my habits around eating but also how I approach life generally. It is a true pleasure and win to be able to work with Julie!” -Prisca

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“Julie helps me see my mind clearly and with great kindness. She is helping me see my patterns of thought and behavior, and from this place of understanding I can make changes that will undoubtedly benefit me for years to come.” – Abby

Go to Julie’s calendar to book your call

$180 for a 45-minute call (plus call notes), and one follow-up email

If you have questions about coaching, you can contact Julie at juliemanncoaching@gmail.com

Stop Having “One Last Binge”

by Kathryn Hansen

Do you tell yourself that each binge is going to be your last, only to find yourself bingeing again? You are definitely not alone in repeating this pattern, but you can learn to stop the cycle of broken promises to yourself.

Having frequent last binges can keep you putting off recovery indefinitely, and in this post, I want to help you overcome this harmful tendency. I’ve discussed one last time thoughts in Episode 14 and Episode 73 of the podcast, and here, I’ll give you some additional ideas—because this issue is a big factor that interferes with stopping binge eating for good.

First, I’ll talk about the one last time mentality more generally—to help you understand why it occurs, and then I’ll explain how you can successfully deal with this in binge eating recovery.

The One Last Time Mindset is Part of Our Nature

You are not the only one who tells yourself one last time and then doesn’t follow through. I think everyone has this tendency to some extent, even if binge eating is not involved. We tell ourselves one last episode of a tv series late at night—only to watch 2 more after that. We tell ourselves one more minute of a warm and relaxing shower—and then indulge in 5 more minutes. We hit snooze one more time in the morning—several times. We tell ourselves one more scroll through social media—only to find ourselves still scrolling 20 minutes later. We sometimes do keep our word in these situations, but most of us are guilty of not always being true to our “last time” commitments.

If you’ve tried to quit an addictive substance like cigarettes or alcohol, how many times did you tell yourself it was your last smoke or last drink before it actually was—if it ever was? Even with food, normal eaters may say one last chip or one last cookie—only to go back to the bag a few more times. They may say it’s their last fast food lunch of the week—and then find themselves pulling in the drive-thru again the next day.

This tendency is understandable considering that humans are pleasure-seeking creatures, and habitual ones as well. We all have desires to engage in behaviors that bring us enjoyment and ease. However, we are also rational beings with goals and responsibilities, and as I’ll explain, the one last time mentality is a way that we try to satisfy both parts of ourselves—the rational and the pleasure-seeking.

The Last Binge Appeals to the Lower Brain and the Higher Brain

I’ve come to view the one last time mindset as a sort of intersection between our rational and primitive nature. It’s where our lower-brain-driven desire for instant gratification and temporary pleasure meets our higher-brain-driven desire to accomplish things and pursue deeper meaning in our lives. (For more about the lower and higher brain, listen to Episode 3).

Although it’s in our primitive nature to want to be comfortable, we know that we have other aspirations as well. Our higher goals—or even the necessary tasks like dishes or laundry—are often not pleasurable, but bring the results that we truly want (like clean clothes to wear). We all know it requires self-discipline to ignore the urge to continue being lazy or engaging in mindless activities, and turn our attention to the things we need to do and rationally want to be doing to move our lives forward.

Because we often have two competing lines of thinking—one that wants to be productive and one that wants to indulge—we end up with a sort of cognitive dissonance or inner conflict. To relieve this debate in our minds, we tell ourselves that we’ll stop engaging in the pleasurable behavior…but only after we do it one last time.

When we declare and believe this, it seems to allow the rational brain to check out, and allows the primal brain to take over. The one last time statement temporarily quiets your higher brain’s plea for you to do something better with your time, and for a little while, this solves the dilemma of whether you should or shouldn’t be indulging. You basically give yourself permission, and there is definitely some relief in making that decision—which allows you to enjoy whatever you are doing with more peace of mind. In effect, saying one last time appeases the higher brain while giving the lower brain what it wants.

It appeals to the higher brain because one last time does seem like a logical thought, and I think that sometimes it can be—especially when the behavior is not harmful and when it’s not a well-worn habit. However, as behaviors are repeated, the one last time mentality becomes part of habit formation and a significant reason why the habit persists. In other words, the one last time mentality may initially begin as a rational thought (that attempts to balance your more primal desires with your higher goals), but then it becomes an automatic thought that keeps you in a rut.

One Last Time Does Not Satisfy

Sometimes we do stick to what we say about it being the last time, but that usually requires some effort—because when the stated last time ends, the primitive brain’s desire for pleasure is still there. It can be frustrating to realize that even though you said it would be the last time, you still want more. It can be discouraging to realize that you still feel unsatisfied, and this is why you may find yourself saying one last time again and again—until you feel exhausted and ashamed. It’s as if you are chasing the feeling of satisfaction that never arrives, and instead, guilt arrives in it’s place. Once you understand your lower and higher brain, you realize that you simply have to pull yourself away from the pleasure at some point—whether you feel satisfied or not.

In commonplace circumstances, the one last time mentality isn’t really a big deal. We do eventually turn off the tv, we manage to get out of the shower, we pull ourselves away from Facebook, and we get out of bed. We may waste more time on mindless, lazy, or pleasurable activities than we would like, but who doesn’t deserve a little pleasure? The point where some normal indulgence becomes unhealthy overindulgence is not always perfectly clear, and it’s different for everyone based on their goals, preferences, and responsibilities. Even though the one last time thought stems from your lower brain’s desire for temporary pleasure, you can still choose to follow it—that is, when doing so isn’t going to be harmful, like in binge eating. The goal is not to become a perfectly rational being who is always productive and never experiences pleasure.

However, you do not want the lower brain to be completely in charge, so it’s important to get in touch with that wise part of yourself—and choose when you want to follow one last time thoughts and when you don’t. Of course, when there is a harmful substance or behavior involved, you definitely do not want to follow your one last time thoughts. This is where the often innocent and common one last time mindset takes a bad turn. When it comes to destructive habits like bingeing, repeatedly following the one last time thoughts can keep you hurting yourself over and over again.

Pass on the Last Binge and Stop Binge Eating for Good

When your binge urges first appeared, you probably felt powerless to resist them for any length of time, so you might have reasoned that you’d binge one last time and then be done. Your stated commitment to quitting gave you a justification to just go ahead and give in to the urge. It makes perfect sense that you’d want a reason to give in, considering how uncomfortable and unsettling the urges can feel. By giving yourself permission to binge one last time, you got immediate relief from all of the anxiety and craving that the urge caused—but ultimately, each “last” binge made you feel awful, and the relief was never worth the pain.

In the moments of the urge, you may still believe and take comfort in the one last time thought. It may still appease your higher brain, because you truly feel you are committed to each binge being your final binge. When you believe the one last time thought, you don’t feel separate and detached from it, so it’s much more difficult to dismiss it. Even if you are successfully dismissing other binge-encouraging thoughts, the one last time thought may still feel like a logical reason to give in and binge.

This gets back to what I discussed earlier about one last time thoughts being an intersection of the lower brain and higher brain—expressing the higher brain’s desire to stop the behavior, and giving the lower brain what it wants right away. But, if you take time to think about the one last time thoughts a little more deeply, you’ll realize that they are not at all supporting your higher brain’s commitment to recovery, even though it can seem that way at times.

If having a last binge somehow helped you quit, then maybe it could make some logical sense, but that last binge only makes things worse—every time. There was never a time when I thought, “I’m really glad I binged that one last time.” I regretted each and every last binge. I always wished I had not done it. I always took a step back in recovery because of it. Every last binge solidified the habit in my brain.

If the one last time thoughts were truly expressing and supporting your desire to stop binge eating, those thoughts would not encourage you to binge. A thought that is in line with commitment to recovery never drives you toward the harmful behavior. Think about someone in your life who cares about you and wants you to be free of binge eating…would that person tell you that you should go ahead and binge one last time? Of course not; it makes no logical sense if your goal is to quit. (This does not mean that you’ve failed if you do follow an urge—you can always get back on track after a binge).

Dismiss One Last Time Thoughts

In the Brain over Binge approach, the urges to binge are the only direct cause of binge eating. Urges to binge include all thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that encourages binge eating—and since the one last time thoughts encourage binge eating, they are part of the urge. Therefore, you can treat those thoughts like any other binge-encouraging thoughts and dismiss them as meaningless, powerless, and harmless neurological junk. When it comes to recovery, it doesn’t matter if these thoughts originally had some sort of rational basis—because now, the thoughts are automatic and are keeping you in a destructive cycle.

You can learn to stop giving those one last time thoughts any attention, and you can learn to stop following them. It’s powerful when you realize that you truly do not—nor did you ever—want to binge one last time. You want freedom from binge eating now and for good.

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If you want extra guidance as you use the Brain over Binge approach, here are some resources for additional support:

The Brain over Binge Approach Is Not How to Stick to a Diet

by Kathryn Hansen

I want you to escape the daily pain that bingeing brings. I want you to stop eating in an out-of-control way that makes you feel sick and ashamed. I want you to get your life back, so that you can pursue what is important to you. I also want you to eat in a way that works for you and makes you feel nourished and satisfied.

I do not want you to make it your goal to eat perfectly. I do not want you to think that stopping binge eating also means learning how to stick to a strict eating plan. I do not want you to feel like you have to avoid all unhealthy foods, or say no to yourself every time you want to eat something just for pleasure, or stop acting on all desires for food that is not in line with a certain diet.

My goal is to teach you how to dismiss urges to binge and eat adequately; my goal is not to teach you to how to stick to a diet. This post is inspired by Episode 49 and Episode 12 of my podcast, and I hope it helps clear up the intent of the Brain over Binge approach.

Binge eating recovery includes giving up restrictive dieting

If you are familiar with my blog, podcast, or books, you know about the strategy of dismissing binge urges, which is the practice of separating yourself from the lower brain’s desire to binge (listen to Episode 5), and not acting on the thoughts and feelings that encourage binge eating (listen to Episode 7).

You can also learn more about dismissing urges to binge in my free 30-page guide, the Brain over Binge Basics.

What I teach is for ending binge eating, and although I do believe that similar methods can be used to help with other problematic eating habits, I want to make it clear that the Brain over Binge approach is never about learning how to stick to a restrictive diet. It is never about helping you follow rigid weight-loss plans, or helping you eat less than you physically need—because that would be extremely harmful to your recovery.

A big part of my approach is about helping you give up restrictive dieting and implement nourishing eating habits that work for you. I also believe in learning to allow yourself all types of food in moderation, and avoiding the harmful mindset that can develop when you have “forbidden” foods. (You can learn more about giving up the dieting mentality in Episode 48). I realize that not everyone can eat all types of food due to certain health conditions, so another way of saying this is that I believe in eating in the least restrictive way that’s possible for you.

Dismissing too many eating urges is harmful

Over the years of working with binge eaters, I’ve found that some people want to ignore my advice about eating enough, and only want to focus on dismissing urges—and this does not work and prevents recovery. Some people even want to take it a step further and start dismissing not only binge urges, but urges to eat anything that is not in line with a strict diet plan. When used in this way, dismissing urges becomes a dieting strategy in and of itself, which is the opposite of my intention.

The only way that dismissing binge urges works to get rid of binge eating for good is if you’re also eating adequately. If you are dismissing too many desires to eat, then you’ll remain in a food-deprived, survival-instinct-driven state that fuels binge eating.

Now, I know that creators of some diets or weight loss plans might step in here and argue that their eating plans are adequate and not overly restrictive. It’s possible for that to be true in some cases—meaning that the way of eating required for a certain “diet” actually does meet your physical needs and nourishes you well. But that’s not the type of diet I’m talking about, and it’s also not the issue I’m raising today. This post is about clarifying the intention of the Brain over Binge approach; it’s not about evaluating the merits of each and every diet plan that is out there.

Not sticking to a diet is not binge eating

Even if you could argue that a certain “diet” is technically an adequate and nourishing way to eat, my approach is still not meant to be a way for you to dismiss every urge to veer from that plan. I don’t think it’s necessary to have perfect eating habits, and in many ways, trying to get your eating habits exactly right is counterproductive in recovery. This is why Brain over Binge is not and should not be used as a “how to stick to a diet” strategy—that is contrary to the message I want to send.

Dismissing urges is not a way to avoiding eating any food that’s not “keto,” or “paleo,” or “vegan.” It is not a way to stop eating anything at all when you are fasting, and it is not a way to say no to all processed foods or any foods you think are unhealthy.

Eating sugar is not bingeing, eating carbs is not bingeing, eating meat is not bingeing, eating junk food is not bingeing—unless of course, you are bingeing on these things. Likewise, eating when you think you shouldn’t be eating, or when a diet plan says you shouldn’t be eating is not bingeing—unless of course you are bingeing at those times.

There is certainly value in not acting on all of the food cravings that you have. There are benefits of being able to observe your thoughts about eating and then to choose which thoughts to act on and which to ignore. There are benefits of being able to decide to eat foods that make you feel good. My approach is never about giving up on health. It’s never about eating anything you want, anytime you want, without regard for the effect food has on you. It is absolutely appropriate to not follow your every desire for food.

Furthermore, if there’s a certain way of eating that works well for you and is adequate and satisfying, then it may make sense to dismiss thoughts that cause you to veer too much from that way of eating—and this is especially true if you need to eat a certain way for medical reasons. I realize this may seem like a subtle distinction, but deciding to eat in a specific way to take care of yourself is very different from following a restrictive diet and then trying to dismiss urges to eat anything off of that diet. For example, someone with a dairy sensitivity who chooses to dismiss thoughts of eating dairy is not the same as someone who implements a strict calorie deficit and then tries to dismiss urges to eat any additional calories.

Get rid of the binge problem, don’t aim for perfect eating

To further explain why stopping the binge eating habit does not include learning how to stick to a diet, I’m going to end with an excerpt from the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide (from the Healthy Eating chapter). I hope that reading the following few paragraphs helps you better understand the purpose of the Brain over Binge approach, and the purpose of separating your higher brain from your lower brain—in a way that promotes recovery, not dieting.

“It’s common for binge eaters to mistakenly merge the part of themselves that wants to binge with the part of themselves that wants any unhealthy food. They begin to apply the lower brain/higher brain idea to the consumption of all junk food by viewing their lower brain as their “unhealthy eating” brain and their higher brain as their “healthy eating” brain. I don’t think this is useful, especially when first trying to quit binge eating, because it can lead to an “all or nothing” trap. When you start trying to view all of your cravings for anything unhealthy as neurological junk, it can be overwhelming.

It can lead you to believe that if you follow a desire for a dessert or some processed or convenience food, then your lower brain has already won, so you’ll be primed to believe any thoughts that say you “might as well binge.” You don’t actually have a good brain and a bad brain, because both the lower and the higher brain are necessary for a rich human existence. Your lower brain, with its pleasure centers, is indeed behind most of your junk-food cravings, but everyone has those. The lower brain also causes you to crave and take pleasure in delicious, healthy food as well, as desire for food is rarely a purely rational experience. Recovery is about trying to get rid of the “glitch” in your reward system, not banish the system altogether.

Craving french fries doesn’t make you abnormal or weak, and it certainly doesn’t mean your animal brain controls you. If you choose to follow those brain signals and have the fries, great—enjoy them! If you choose not to, then that’s fine too—have some organic carrot sticks with almond butter instead, and enjoy those! Don’t think that if you choose the french fries, you are giving in to a binge urge. Likewise, don’t think that if you decide on the carrot sticks, depriving yourself of the fries will lead you to binge. It won’t. There will be other opportunities for fries. The methods and advice in this book are for quitting binge eating, not for sticking to very strict, healthy-food-only eating plans and banishing all cravings for anything unhealthy.” (pgs. 262-263)

I encourage you to find a balance in your eating that works for you, but remember, you never have to eat perfectly!

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If you want extra guidance in learning how to eat normally, you can get the Brain over Binge Course for $18.99 per month.

You can also get personalized support and accountability with one-on-one coaching or group coaching.

Should I Keep Trigger Foods at Home During Recovery?

by Kathryn Hansen

I want to address the question of whether or not to keep trigger foods at home while you are trying to stop binge eating. Trigger food is a popular term in eating disorder recovery conversations that usually refers to the foods that tend to make binge eaters feel out of control and binge. If you’ve read Brain over Binge or listened to my podcast, you know that I don’t believe any food can cause binge eating—because the urges to binge are the only direct cause. So, when I refer to trigger foods in this blog post, I mean foods that commonly to lead to your urges to binge, or foods that you typically eat large amounts of when you follow the urges, or foods that are simply linked to binge eating in your mind.

Distancing yourself from trigger foods doesn’t cure binge eating

If keeping trigger foods out of the house was the cure for bingeing, then that would make recovery pretty straightforward—but if you’re anything like I was as a binge eater, you just find a way to get the food anyway or find something else to eat too much of. Home isn’t the only place to binge, and trigger foods aren’t the only foods that you binge on. Also, it’s not realistic to expect to be able to control all of the food that comes through your door—because roommates, children, parents, partners, relatives, or friends who share or visit your home also need to eat, and they may have different ideas about what food to have on hand.

Even though keeping trigger foods out of the home is not a cure for binge eating, it’s still one factor to consider when approaching recovery. I believe that it is an individual decision, and there isn’t one right or wrong way. If you think about it, the decision of what foods to have at home is one that all people need to make, even if they don’t have a history of an eating disorder. When you look at this choice as just a basic part of living—something you’ll need to do for the rest of your life—it can take off some of the pressure you may be feeling right now.

Will the trigger foods make me binge more?

I realize that the additional consideration during recovery is that you may be worried that certain foods will lead to increased binges, but if you remember that all the trigger foods can do is lead to increased urges, you take your power back. You give yourself the freedom to choose what foods to have or not have at home, and you can learn to dismiss the urges that are linked to those foods. (If you are new to the concept of dismissing urges, you can get my free eBook, the Brain over Binge Basics to help you get started).

It’s okay if you don’t feel ready to have any and all types of food at home right now, but with time and practice, you can gain confidence that you can be around any food and eat any food—without binge eating. On Episode 76 of the podcast, my guest shared her own experience of reintroducing trigger foods into her life, and I think you will find it helpful.

Food temptation is a universal experience

It also helps to realize that feeling tempted by certain foods at home is common, and although the urges to binge will fade, feeling drawn toward food pleasure will never go away completely. Normal eaters often say that they don’t like to have, for example, a dessert item in the house because they believe they’ll eat too much of it, or they ate too much of it last time it was in the house. The reality is that sometimes it’s just easier for anyone—with or without a binge eating issue—to simply not have something tempting in close proximity, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

In the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide, I explained that these choices extend beyond food, and I drew a comparison to my choice at the time to not buy paper towels, because when I did, I used too many of them. My kids were very young at the time, and made so many messes, and paper towels were way too convenient. If I didn’t have paper towels in the house, I put myself in a situation where I had to take the time to wash rags and keep them ready for use. Now that my kids are older and there aren’t as many spills, I do buy paper towels again, but I don’t overuse them.

Giving up binge eating and dieting makes foods less “triggering”

The paper towel example could also help you see that your decisions about what to keep in the house can change over time, and if you decide to avoid buying a certain trigger food right now, you don’t have to avoid buying it forever. One day, you may decide you want that food in your house again, and you’ll learn to overcome the temptation, or it simply won’t be as appealing to you once your binge eating habit has stopped. Foods that seem so tempting today could become foods you don’t even think about in the future—this is a wonderful benefit of giving up the dieting mindset and learning to eat everything in moderation.

I wrote a detailed post to share how this happened for me regarding my biggest trigger food—sugary cereal—and how I can now have boxes of it in my house and not even want any (read the post: How I Stopped Binge Eating Cereal and Craving it Too). It’s an amazing experience when you first realize your trigger foods are no longer triggering, and that they hold no power over you. It gives you so much freedom to be able to be around any type of food and know it won’t lead to a binge. But, everyone gets there in their own way and on their own timeline, and it’s okay if you’re not there yet.

Just make the best decisions that you can right now as far as what to keep in the house to support yourself in recovery, knowing that you can make adjustments, and add new foods over time. Eventually your urges to binge will fade and go away completely, and all of the things that once triggered them—including certain foods—will no longer lead to urges. You’ll be left with some standard temptation and cravings like all normal eaters, but it will be so much more manageable. You’ll find yourself doing things that you never thought were possible—like forgetting you have leftover cake from a birthday party in your house, or throwing out half of a batch of cookies you baked last week with your kids because you never ate them.

Dismissing urges to buy the binge foods

I want to take a step back and also talk about buying the foods at the store, because that’s ultimately how they get to your home. Even if you make a firm decision about what foods you want to have in your house, and that doesn’t include many of your trigger foods, your lower brain might try to change your mind at the grocery. You might feel urges to buy a lot of binge foods—just in case. This is all part of the habit—you’re simply used to buying them, so habitually, you feel like you need to keep buying them. An example I thought of, which I’ve experienced myself, is a parent whose child gets older and out-grows the baby items that they used to need frequently; but the parent still finds herself automatically going down the baby food or diaper aisle.

You can think of urges you have in the store as just your lower brain telling you what it thinks you need—based on your past shopping and eating behaviors—but now that you have changed, you don’t need to follow those messages anymore. Dismissing urges to buy the binge food is good practice for dismissing urges to actually binge. You don’t have to get upset with your brain for encouraging you to buy certain things, just try to observe your thoughts and gently remind yourself that you no longer binge. You don’t have to tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have certain foods—because you can learn to buy and eat anything you want in moderation, provided there are no allergies or other health issues. However, if you only want to get the food to binge on it, then you can react to the urge to buy it like the parent of an older child would react to an urge to buy baby food—you can just shrug it off, maybe smile a little, and say, “Oh, I don’t actually need that anymore.”

In your case, it might not be that you don’t need any amount of a certain food, but you may simply need much less now that you are eating in a normal way. You don’t want to create a situation where you’re saying no to yourself too often for food you actually like and want in your house. You ultimately want to find a balance of foods that are going to nourish you, and foods that you buy purely for pleasure. Again, this is something you’ll need to do for the rest of your life as part of taking care of yourself and the people who share your home and food.

If you can keep a grateful mindset for all of the food you have the ability to buy and keep in your house, it can help the food feel like a gift instead of something to fear—and this can help your decisions surrounding food feel easier.

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If you want extra guidance, you can get the Brain over Binge Course for only $18.99 per month.

You can also get personalized support and accountability with one-on-one coaching or group coaching.

Why Not December? Don’t Wait Until January to Stop Bingeing

by Kathryn Hansen

I want to help you end this year on a positive note—with progress toward recovery. Even if you’ve previously struggled with increased binge eating in December, this is your chance to do things differently, and have this month be a successful one.

When I was a binge eater, the final weeks before the new year usually included my worst binges. I’d often have thoughts like…

“I can’t stop binge eating now, there is too much tempting food this time of year.”

“I’m too busy with the holidays to even bother with recovery.”

“I will binge all I want through the end of the month, and then quit on January 1st.”

Why December Seems Like a Binge Eating Opportunity

Telling myself I’d quit at the start of the new year seemed to give me a pass in December—to binge as much as my lower brain wanted. That primitive part of my brain seemed to view the days leading up to January 1st as a non-stop binge opportunity. At the time, I didn’t understand how my lower brain worked, and I thought my binge urges were expressing my true desires. I also thought that I was emotionally broken and “needed” to binge to cope with the holidays. So, I went along with my lower brain—all the while telling myself that I’d leave binge eating in the past once January arrived.

What I didn’t know was that my lower brain was repeating a habitual and predictable pattern that’s common in binge eaters (and really in anyone with a destructive habit). I’ll call it the “one last time” rut, and when binge eaters get in this rut, they repeatedly promise that each binge will be their last and promise to quit afterward. I explain this pattern in detail in Episode 14: Overcome “One Last Time” Thoughts to Quit Binge Eating.

However, in December—instead of telling yourself it’s your “last binge”—you may start telling yourself that it’s your “last year of bingeing.” You tell yourself that after December, you’ll be done for the rest of your life, so these are the final weeks of being caught up in the binge eating habit.

Because you feel committed to quitting on January 1st, you might stop any attempts to curb your binge eating at the end of the year. You may allow your lower brain’s desire for the temporary pleasure of binges to completely run the show. You end up feeling awful from the binges in the December, but when you remember that you’ll quit in January, you see no point in even trying to stop now. You just accept that you’re going to keep bingeing until the clock strikes midnight and marks a new year—and a new you.

January Doesn’t Erase Your Binge Eating Habit

During all of the years of my binge eating, January 1st always came with a sense of dread. I wondered if I could really quit, and felt confused and frustrated that my desire to binge was still the same on New Year’s Day that it had been on New Year’s Eve. In December, it was comforting to believe that a new year would bring a swift recovery; but looking back, my resolutions usually only served as excuses to binge prior to the resolution’s start date. If I told myself I was quitting tomorrow, next week, next year; it gave me reason to binge today, this week, this year.

On January 1st or shortly thereafter, I began to resent the new year—because of the struggle of trying to avoid binges. I often wished it was December again, when I felt like I could just binge without even considering quitting, even though I knew December had been miserable. Until 2005, nothing I tried to help myself quit had worked, and I always found myself binge eating again by about January 5th.

In Brain over Binge, I talked about that first New Year’s Eve when I didn’t have to make a resolution to stop binge eating. I wasn’t with family or friends or at a party—I was simply alone with my thoughts, watching others ring in the new year on television. It was a wonderful feeling knowing that the next year would be different—that I wouldn’t just binge again a few days, and that I’d never have to resolve to quit binge eating again, because I was already done.

Do December Differently

No matter what your thoughts are saying now in December, your binge eating habit will not suddenly disappear come January 1st. The lower brain has no regard for time, and it will send urges automatically no matter what day or year it is. You will not suddenly gain the ability to avoid binges, unless you support yourself in learning how to do that.

You don’t want to spend another December being miserable, promising yourself you will do better in January. You can do better now. You can learn to recognize all of those faulty brain messages that drive you toward binge eating and stop believing them. You can stop believing thoughts that say it somehow makes sense to binge through this month. You know that it doesn’t make sense, and you can absolutely break this cycle.

Just think of how amazing you’ll feel if you gain control of your binge eating before the new year, before the start of your typical resolution. Challenge yourself to do something different this year—break the pattern and stop waiting until later for freedom from binge eating.

To help you along the way, I’ve created a free, 31-day resource (the Brain over Binge Inspiration Booklet) to keep you motivated and focused on recovery. The booklet contains 31 daily messages to help you develop consistency and reinforce the Brain over Binge concepts. You can download it to use this month and any time you need extra encouragement.

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Get more support to gain control of binge eating now:

Brain over Binge Course – Self-paced online lessons (plus an app) for only $18.99/month. Includes over 120 tracks to listen to that give you the information and answers you need as you end binge eating.

One-on-one Coaching – Book a 45-minute private session with coach Julie or Kathryn. We will help you change your thinking, uncover what is holding you back, and get on a path to complete freedom from food issues.