Binge Eating Archives - Brain over Binge

Food Noise, Part 1: Bingeing is Not a Solution

I’m starting a blog series that is based on the transcripts of my podcast series on Food Noise, which includes these 4 episodes:
Ep. 198: Food Noise, Part 1: Bingeing is Not a Solution
Ep. 199: Food Noise, Part 2: The Effect of the Food Environment (You’re Not Broken or Powerless)
Ep. 201: Food Noise, Part 3: Mindset Shifts for More Peace and Self-Trust
Ep. 203: Food Noise, Part 4: Eating Foundations for More Stability and Ease (with Marcus Kain)

Food noise has been getting a lot of attention right now, and I want to provide what I hope will be a helpful perspective on how to understand and deal with food noise while also ending the binge-eating habit. Food noise is something that needs to be talked about in the world of eating disorder recovery, and I’m glad to see others in the field discussing it, and I hope to add something meaningful to the conversation.

I’m calling Part 1 of this series, Bingeing Is Not a Solution to Food Noise, because when it comes to binge eating recovery, I truly believe that is the most important thing to understand and remember as you approach learning to manage your food noise.

What Is Food Noise?

Food noise is a term that I’m hearing everywhere recently, and you probably are too. It’s not that food noise is new—people have likely experienced some variation of what we’re now calling “food noise” since eating existed. I looked a bit into the history of the term “food noise,” and it seems like no one can really pinpoint exactly where the phrase comes from, but it’s thought to have originated from patient anecdotes that led to more conversation in the media and among clinicians.

Based on Google search analysis, public interest in the term “food noise” hit an all-time high in the spring of 2024 and then has remained fairly high since then, and the interest is primarily coming from the United States. I’m getting the background information in this post from the article, Food noise: definition, measurement, and future research directions (Journal of Nutrition & Diabetes), which has a lot of good information that could be helpful if the term food noise is new to you.

As far as an official definition, an expert panel convened at the American Society of Nutrition meeting in June of 2024 and defined food noise in this way:

Food noise is persistent thoughts about food that are perceived by the individual as being unwanted and/or dysphoric and may cause harm to the individual, including social, mental, or physical problems.

This concept is receiving a lot of publicity lately in the mainstream media, in the weight loss industry, in research, and in relation to the rise of the GLP-1 medications (and many people’s experience that those medications quiet food noise).

Food noise is not defined by thoughts about food alone, because thoughts about eating are very natural to the human experience. You could think about food noise as not just thinking about food but really ruminating about it. Rumination involves obsessional thinking or excessive, repetitive thoughts that interfere with your life. Again, this is not a new experience for people, but it’s the label of “food noise” and the widespread public discussion about it that’s relatively new.

The Difference Between Food Noise and Urges to Binge

Now let’s turn to the point of today’s post specifically, which is that binge eating is not a solution to food noise. With all of the talk out there about food noise, I’m starting to hear an unintended message in relation to binge eating, which sounds like, “If I have food noise, I’m destined to binge,” or “Food noise is the cause of my bingeing.” I don’t believe those statements are true. Food noise and binge eating can absolutely be related, but food noise does not make bingeing inevitable.

To help explain this, I’m going to separate food noise from urges to binge because this is an important distinction. When we think about food noise, it’s an overabundance of thoughts about food and eating—whether that’s thinking excessively about what you’re going to eat, obsessing about calories, craving certain foods persistently, or not being able to focus on other things because of the food thoughts. Food noise can absolutely feel intense, consuming, and distracting.

Urges to binge can also feel intense, consuming, and distracting, but binge urges are the desire to binge eat. Binge urges are the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that encourage the act of bingeing. From a clinical perspective, binge eating means eating, in a discrete period of time—for example, within a two-hour period—an amount of food that is definitely larger than what most people would eat in similar circumstances. Binge eating is also defined by experiencing a sense of lack of control during the episode.

An urge to binge usually has that “screw it, I’m going to eat everything and start over tomorrow” quality. People can and do have food noise without ever experiencing an urge to binge, which is an urge to eat massive amounts of food. Some people have both food noise and urges to binge. Some people have urges to binge and not that much food noise otherwise, but that is more rare because the act of bingeing itself leads to increased food noise.

You could think of urges to binge as an extreme type of food noise—encouraging the specific food behavior of binge eating. This extreme type of food noise often develops after a period of food restriction, which is part of the brain’s survival response. Then eventually the bingeing becomes a habit that’s reinforced over time, which can perpetuate the urges to binge even if normal eating is reintroduced.

Even though there is a relationship between food noise and urges to binge (and the two very frequently exist together in someone who is struggling with binge eating disorder or bulimia), I still believe it’s important to avoid blending the two experiences together too much. I understand that there can be some overlap and gray areas, but that does not stop us from acknowledging that these are two—possibly related—but different experiences.

You Can Have Food Noise Without Bingeing

It’s crucial to realize that you can have food noise and still choose not to act on the urges to binge. You can ruminate about food and still not obey the thoughts that encourage you to let go of all control and eat massive quantities. You can obsess about servings or ingredients and still not follow thoughts that say, “Screw it, just eat anything and everything.” You can be unfocused because your mind keeps thinking about sweets, and you can still not act on the urge to eat sweets until you’re stuffed and sick. You can have anxiety about food without believing your thoughts that say a binge will solve that problem.

Bingeing is a harmful and dangerous behavior, and it’s never a valid response to food noise. Of course, constantly thinking about food or having anxiety about food is not an ideal state to be in, but it’s so important to recognize that bingeing is a much worse state to be in and that bingeing does nothing to solve food noise.

Why Bingeing Doesn’t Solve Food Noise

Even if you understand that bingeing doesn’t solve food noise, you may be thinking, “But, at least I get some temporary relief from the food noise when I binge.”

This is crucial to talk about because this is where food noise often turns into urges to binge. The urges to binge convince you that bingeing is a way to get relief from the experience of food noise. To stop bingeing, it’s necessary to stop believing this.

By telling you to stop believing that bingeing will give you relief, it may sound like I’m telling you to just stay stuck in the misery of the food noise. I hope that by the end of this post, you’ll understand that is not my goal. However, it’s important to acknowledge that even if that’s exactly what I am saying—that you need to stay stuck in the food noise—that actually is the more appealing option. That is the safer path. The discomfort of the food noise is preferable to the discomfort and the pain of a binge.

It’s like having a heart-to-heart with a smoker and saying, “Yes, staying with the cigarette cravings is preferable and safer than having the cigarette to get relief.” Your thoughts and urges can make it feel like bingeing is the compassionate thing to do for yourself—to give you some relief from the food noise—but if you’re reading this, I know that you understand the pain that bingeing brings. I know that you understand it’s never truly a relief. I know that you’re never glad you binged. I know that you never come away from a binge thinking that was a kind thing to do for yourself. I also know that you can likely recognize that bingeing just makes the food noise so much worse as soon as the binge is over.

A Better Way to Think About the Relationship Between Food Noise and Binge Eating

Think of the relationship between bingeing and food noise as if the binge is like blasting music at an extremely harmful level to cover a sound you don’t want to hear (and that sound is the food noise). For a brief time, yes, the blasting sound can divert your attention, but you can’t keep listening to that harmful level of music forever. You eventually have to turn it off, and, in effect, you’ve hurt your hearing in the process and sensitized yourself so that the original sound you were trying to drown out becomes even more bothersome.

In this analogy (and with binge eating), the perceived solution is more harmful than the original problem and makes the original problem worse, and then the cycle continues. I know it’s not a perfect analogy, but it explains the experience that many people have of bingeing to try to make the food noise go away and ending up with even worse food noise.

I encourage you to start seeing the thought that says, “I need to binge to quiet the food noise,” as not aligning with your actual experience and as not speaking your truth.

Something I also think is worth considering is that the temporary relief you may feel when you binge is actually just another form of food noise. When you’re bingeing, you’re thinking about food, you’re eating, you’re highly focused on food, you’re eating in a harmful way, and you’re thinking of the next thing you’re going to eat in the binge.

Even though you might interpret this as “relief,” when you step back and think about it more deeply, it’s just a heightened focus on food—a more extreme and harmful form of food noise. A binge is trading one form of food noise for another, and the food noise of a binge is dangerous.

I always want to remind you that bingeing is not a neutral behavior that simply “makes you feel better”. That’s what your lower brain thoughts will say, but that’s never actually true.

After a Binge, Food Noise is Worse

To further this idea that bingeing is not a solution to food noise, also think about what happens to your food thoughts after the binge. Most people end up ruminating about the physical effect of the food, worrying about the impact the binge will have on their weight and health, feeling guilty about the food and the quantities they ate, thinking about how they’re going to eat to try to “undo the damage,” and ruminating about new diets or new weight loss plans.

In addition, on a physiological level, eating large amounts of the food that people typically consume in a binge leads to more cravings, heightened hunger, and dampened fullness—which are all more forms of food noise. Think of the binge eating itself as one of the biggest factors that keeps the whole food noise system activated.

If you’re trying to recover and you do have a binge, I want you to have as much self-compassion as possible and not criticize yourself for all of these thoughts that may come up after the binge. Simply notice them, and notice that the binge was not the solution to the food noise and, in fact, created more. Then, try to redirect your brain to more healthy thoughts, and also toward some healthy thoughts about food—determining how to learn from the binge and move toward recovery by getting back to nourishing your body properly.

To end the binge eating habit for good (even if you still have some food noise), it’s necessary to dismiss any lower brain’s message telling you that a binge is a helpful or logical response to food noise.

Making Bingeing “Not an Option” to Deal with Food Notice

Once you realize that bingeing is never a solution to food noise and makes it worse, it puts you in such a powerful position—because you get to start to work on real solutions to the food noise and discover strategies to support yourself while the food noise is present.

The goal is to completely cross out bingeing in your mind as a viable option for dealing with food noise or getting relief from it. When you do that, you give yourself so much freedom to be able to truly help yourself in those moments of difficult food noise.

There are so many variables at play when it comes to food noise, including genetics, upbringing, food environment, dieting, restriction, metabolic issues, stress, sleep, activity levels, emotions, weight loss attempts, certain medical conditions…and the list goes on. In the following posts in this series, I will discuss some of these factors and potential ways to support yourself.

The fact that the culprits in food noise can be complex and multifaceted is all the more reason not to wait until food noise completely goes away to stop bingeing (which, like I’ve discussed, may be impossible anyway because bingeing creates food noise).

Some of the factors that may be responsible for your food noise could require some work and time to solve, and you don’t want to be bingeing in the process of trying to solve those factors, because it will hinder your progress. So, if you’re someone with a binge eating habit and you want to work on solving your food noise, your first step should be giving yourself the gift of not bingeing in moments of food noise. When you do that, you’ve stopped inadvertently making the food noise worse, and you’ve stopped inadvertently covering up one problem with an even worse problem.

I say inadvertently because I know that your intention is not to make it worse. I know how convincing the lower brain can be when it feels like bingeing will provide that “relief”. You’ve been doing the best you can, so there’s no need for self-criticism here, but I hope you’re starting to see through the illusion that bingeing provides relief. I also hope that stopping bingeing allows you to start using whatever tools and strategies help you with the food noise.

A Brief Note About GLP-1 Medications

It’s impossible to have this conversation in 2026 without mentioning the GLP-1 medications, which, for many people, have the effect of reducing food noise. This is something I’ll dive deeper into in a future post in this series, but here I want to say that even if you are someone who (with your doctor) decides that these medications are a good fit for you—it’s still not a guarantee that they get rid of all of the food noise.

That means, in order to stay binge-free on a GLP-1, you’ll still need that fundamental belief that you can have food noise and still not binge. You’ll still need to know that bingeing is not a solution to the food noise. That goes for any strategy that you use to try to reduce food noise, because in order for any strategy to work, you will have to dismiss the urges to binge in response to the food noise—so that you can use that strategy effectively.

Basically, it takes stopping bingeing to start to chip away at and resolve the food noise. Another way to say this is that you can’t wait to have a completely quiet mind in relation to food in order to stop bingeing. It takes stopping bingeing to start to quiet your mind.

You can absolutely work on both the food noise and the urges to binge at the same time, but you’re going to make the most progress when you never believe that food noise needs to lead to bingeing.

Stopping Bingeing and Eating Enough Helps Quiet the Food Noise

The great part about working on both the food noise and the urges to binge is that stopping bingeing naturally helps reduce food noise. Furthermore, in order to stop bingeing, it’s crucial to eat enough food to nourish your body—and eating enough food is one component that is immensely helpful and necessary in reducing food noise over time. In effect, what helps you with stopping bingeing is also very beneficial in stopping food noise.

Every time you have food noise and don’t follow that with a binge, you’re weakening the connection that your brain has made between the food noise and the bingeing, and you’re changing your brain pathways.

A helpful way to think about this topic is to understand that food noise and urges to binge are both experiences, but bingeing is an action—and you have the ability to choose your actions despite your experiences. The great part about this is that changing your actions rewires your brain and improves your experiences over time.

Looking Ahead and Final Thoughts

As we move forward in this series, I’ll talk more about how food noise can show up and how to distinguish problematic thoughts about food from normal food thoughts. I’ll also discuss practical ways to support yourself when food noise comes up and some mental shifts you can make that can help you feel more in control.

For now, I want to end this post by encouraging you to believe that quieting your mind completely around food is not a requirement for binge eating recovery. So many people have completely stopped binge eating before the idea of food noise became popular.

In the past, we definitely had other ways to talk about uncomfortable food thoughts, and it’s always been a goal in recovery to have more mental peace with food. However, there was not so much hype around the idea that it’s necessary to shut down the noise in order to control our actions. I hope that if I contribute anything to this conversation, it will be to help you understand that learning to control your actions can absolutely help turn down the noise.

If you’re struggling with food noise right now, try to stop any self-judgment you may have about it. Try to take care of yourself as well as you can while it’s present, use any strategies that currently help you feel more peaceful, and really try to adopt the belief that food noise never makes you destined to binge.

Do you need more help as you stop binge eating?

Free Inspiration Booklet – The booklet contains 31 daily messages to help you stay focused and motivated each day as you let go of binge eating.

One-on-one Coaching – Book a 45-minute private and highly personalized session with Kathryn Hansen. You will learn to change your thinking, uncover what is holding you back, and get on a path to complete freedom from food issues.

Group Coaching – Includes 4 group coaching calls per week with Kathryn. You’ll also get access to a forum for encouragement and accountability, and course access.

Brain over Binge Course – Self-paced online lessons (plus an app) for only $18.99/month. Includes over 125 tracks to listen to that give you the information and answers you need as you end binge eating.

Brain over Binge Books – Get Brain over Binge and the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide on Amazon and Audible.

Ep. 206: Coaching Insights from the Brain over Binge Group

by Kathryn Hansen

Boredom is Better Than Bingeing

by Kathryn Hansen

(This blog post is based on the transcript of Episode 204: Boredom is Better Than Bingeing)

Many people have described to me the experience of getting some traction in recovery so that they are bingeing much less or not at all, and they are also doing their best to eat normally. And while they can absolutely see the benefits of this and they can see the stability and the health that they are creating, they simultaneously have an experience of feeling “flat” or “bored” or just emotionally “blah”.

This experience is not specific to stopping binge eating. It can also happen when someone is cutting back on something like alcohol, overuse of social media, or any other habit or substance that has created a lot of artificial excitement or escape.

Even though the people I’ve talked to about this are genuinely happy and excited to be binge-free or moving toward being binge-free, they still have thoughts like, why does everything feel dull? Or why don’t I feel more joyful? Or why does normal life feel flat?

If you’re experiencing this, you may find yourself confused, especially if you’ve wanted recovery for a very long time. It can feel strange to have the experience of finally getting a taste of what recovery feels like, and maybe it doesn’t feel quite as wonderful as you were hoping.

I know that you can rationally see that it is actually wonderful in so many ways to be binge-free. It is wonderful to wake up without that regret and shame. It’s wonderful to go to bed without feeling physically awful from bingeing. It’s wonderful not to be wasting so much time, energy, mental space, or money on binges. It’s wonderful to know that you’re no longer doing something that’s hurting you, but that doesn’t mean every moment of recovery feels exciting.

The absence of chaos can feel like boredom

Sometimes, especially early on, recovery can feel a lot quieter than you expected; and sometimes the absence of the chaos and the struggle can feel like boredom. I want to discuss this in depth because it’s something that—if not properly understood—could put you at risk for going back to the habit.

Having the experience of boredom after stopping bingeing does not mean anything has gone wrong. It does not mean bingeing was giving your life true excitement and meaning. It does not mean the habit was helping you, and it definitely does not mean you need to start bingeing again in order to feel alive.

It simply means that your brain and your life are adjusting to being without the extreme highs and lows of the habit. Bingeing creates intensity, anticipation, urgency, and very temporary feelings of pleasure, escape, or relief. But then, of course, it always creates the other side too. It creates all of the consequences that come with bingeing: the physical pain, shame, lost time, disconnection, exhaustion, and the repeating cycle of trying new things to “fix yourself” or to “get back on track”.

When you remove the bingeing, you are removing those awful consequences and taking away the pain and the chaos, but you’re also removing those artificial spikes of excitement or pleasure that your lower brain has learned to expect. Because of that, it simply makes sense that life could feel flatter for a while.

An important thing to remember is that flatter is not worse. Feeling stable is not worse. Being able to be functional in your life is not worse. However, stable or functional may not feel like the high you were expecting from recovery.

Recovery does not automatically produce an exciting life

An important message I teach is that recovery does not mean a perfect life. I discuss this a lot on my blog and podcast in terms of emotional issues and why it’s so important to realize that recovery does not lead to a you who copes perfectly with everything. Thinking that’s necessary for recovery can prolong recovery indefinitely.

I believe it’s the same when it comes to the idea of boredom. Recovery doesn’t produce a you who finds life fun or exciting. It produces a you who does not binge, and that you who does not binge is likely out of practice finding other pleasures or fun in life. Furthermore, without the extreme dopamine rush of the binge eating habit, there is some recalibrating that needs to happen in your body and brain.

Know that what you might find dull or boring at first after recovery won’t always feel that way. You can learn to reframe it as peace or steadiness that, in fact, feels really good and not like anything is missing at all. The recalibration does not happen overnight, so it’s really important to have some awareness about this possible stage of boredom so that it doesn’t trip you up, or trick you into going back to the “excitement” of bingeing.

Boredom isn’t harmful, bingeing is

A mantra you can repeat to yourself if you’re dealing with this right now is: Boredom is better than bingeing.
Even if boredom is uncomfortable, even if it’s not your favorite feeling, and even if your lower brain tries to tell you that bingeing would make life more exciting again, boredom is still a preferred state to bingeing.

To really see this, it’s helpful to think about what you would tell someone that you care about who told you that life felt boring without a harmful behavior. You would have compassion for them, knowing that the adjustment might be hard, but you would never say, “Okay, then the solution to that boredom is to go back to the harmful behavior.” You would know that boredom is not a reason for that person to hurt themselves, and it’s the same for you.

Remind yourself daily that boredom—like any emotion—is not a reason to binge. The lower brain will likely argue against this logic because, remember, its goal is immediate gratification and getting you to maintain the habit. If you feel bored, the lower brain can start to paint a very dreary picture of what life is like without the habit.

You may have thoughts like, “You’ll never find anything else as pleasurable as bingeing,” or “Normal eating is so boring,” or “Your daily routine is boring,” or “Being responsible is boring,” or that “Working or doing daily tasks without constantly eating is boring,” and those thoughts can seem very believable in the moment. But again, remind yourself that boredom is better than bingeing.

Seeing the full picture of boredom vs. bingeing

One of the main reasons for the boredom is better than bingeing mantra is that it does not make feeling excitement or having a fun life a requirement to stay binge-free. Even if you can’t talk yourself out of being bored, you need to know that you can still avoid a binge.

Later in this post, I’m going to discuss ways that you can help yourself with boredom; but fundamentally, you have to know that boredom is still the preferred state to the awful cycle of bingeing. When you think about it this way, then even in moments when you truly feel like the choice is between boredom and bingeing, you’re still going to choose recovery.

Also, in those moments when you believe it’s a choice between boredom and bingeing, remember that this is not the whole picture. This is an oversimplified and dramatic version that the lower brain is creating. When the lower brain presents bingeing as the “only solution” to boredom or as the “only choice” in moments of boredom, it sends messages making you think that bingeing will be a source of fun or relief or comfort or excitement. It completely leaves out the reality of what bingeing costs you and the harm that comes to your life as a result.

If you were to believe the lower brain and choose to binge as a “solution” for boredom, it’s truly a terrible one that you always regret. I’ve never talked to someone who was happy afterward that they chose bingeing over boredom.

So, when those thoughts that say that “bingeing is better than boredom” arise, you can begin to recognize them for what they are. They are faulty messages that make bingeing seem appealing or useful in the moment, but that lead you into behaviors that you don’t want. Granted, those behaviors might not be boring, but there are far worse things in life than being bored, and bingeing is one of them.

Once you see that clearly, you don’t have to give those thoughts so much meaning. You don’t have to analyze them, argue with them, or get pulled into a long debate about whether your life is exciting enough. You can simply understand that the lower brain is not offering you any wisdom here. It is just encouraging you to return to the habit. Your higher brain can see the full picture that any anticipation or excitement of giving into the urge always, always includes pain.

Recovery leads to being functional and free

We need to be really honest with ourselves that we simply cannot separate the brief period of escape into the binge from the aftermath of the binge. We can’t say, “I just want the pleasurable part to relieve the boredom,” because that “pleasurable” part and the painful part are always tied together. Even if your lower brain tries to show you only the first scene of the movie, your higher brain knows how the movie ends.

When you see this full picture, boredom starts to look a little different. Boredom may not be pleasant, but boredom does not destroy your life or your health. Boredom does not leave you ashamed. Boredom does not take away your ability to function the rest of the day or the next day. Boredom is not harmful. Bingeing is harmful.

When you don’t binge, even if you feel dull, you gain the ability to be functional in your life. I know the word functional may not sound very exciting, but functionality is a gift. When you’re not bingeing, you can show up for yourself and others. You can make plans and actually follow through (or at least start thinking about what plans you may want to make). You can pursue goals (or at least start thinking of some goals that you might want to pursue). You can share your gifts with the world (or start connecting with and trying to develop your unique gifts).

You can be present for the people you care about. You can simply move through your day and take care of your responsibilities without dragging the pain of a binge behind you. In short, being binge-free gives you your life back. And sometimes, especially in the beginning, getting your life back does not feel like fireworks. Sometimes it feels like doing the dishes, going to work, dealing with your finances, watching some mindless TV, calling an old friend, or just having an ordinary evening.

That may feel boring to the lower brain, but to your higher brain, it is freedom taking shape. When your lower brain says, “boring,” answer with “functional” or “free.” Let boring be a launchpad for more stability and the ability to start building a life that you can feel good about.

Boredom around normal meals and snacks

Another place the “boring” thought could come up is in relation to your meals and snacks. When you’re used to eating a large amount of very highly stimulating foods in the binges, then eating normal amounts—of possibly less stimulating foods—consistently might feel unsatisfying to the lower brain.

We are absolutely meant to enjoy food. It’s okay to take pleasure in what you eat and enjoy things like desserts and sweets in ways that work for you. But in the beginning, eating in moderation might give you that dull or unsatisfied feeling.

Again, remind yourself that boredom is better than bingeing, and trust that as time goes by and your body and brain stop expecting such extreme amounts, then the normal amounts will start to feel more enjoyable and satisfying. It’s about trusting in the recalibration that needs to happen in your body and brain.

Try to see it as a good thing that your normal eating is not giving you that “hit” that binge eating was, because that “hit” was harming you. The goal is not to try to recreate that binge feeling with your normal meals or to find something else to do that lights up your brain with that exact same intensity as bingeing. Your new goal is to just let normal enjoyment be enough, and let normal eating be enough—even if it does not feel like enough at first.

When your lower brain says, “Life is boring because nothing else feels like bingeing,” you can tell yourself, “Nothing else has to feel like bingeing.” A walk does not have to feel like bingeing. A shower does not have to feel like bingeing. A TV show does not have to feel like bingeing. Music, reading, calling a friend, folding laundry, going to bed early do not have to feel like bingeing—so don’t expect them to.

Stop trying to replicate bingeing and work on letting go

Expecting other activities to feel like bingeing creates more frustration, so stop trying to replicate bingeing with something else. Your goal is to let go of the extreme highs and lows and start to create something different in your life.

When your lower brain says, “Nothing else will satisfy like a binge,” you can answer with, “Fine. Nothing else has to satisfy me in that specific, harmful way.”

That response can be so powerful because you’re no longer arguing with the urge. You’re no longer trying to prove that something else will be just as exciting. You’re no longer putting pressure on yourself to find the perfect substitute for bingeing. You’re simply saying, “I do not need that type of satisfaction anymore. I can live without it, and I’ll be much better off.”

Now, everyone needs comfort, pleasure, rest, connection, and enjoyment, but the key is to see that you do not need it in that particular form of bingeing—which is hurting you. The sense that you need that specific form of escape is part of the conditioned habit, and as the habit fades, so will that sense of need and desire.

It’s about giving up what is hurting you, knowing that nothing else is going to give you that same feeling right now (nor do you want something to), and trusting that in time, you’ll find new and healthier forms of satisfaction, healthier forms of enjoyment, and real solutions to boredom.

**Moving beyond bingeing and boredom**

Here I want to move on to solutions for boredom, because even if you understand that boredom is better than bingeing, you understandably want to move beyond that phase. You want to start thinking about what you want your days and nights to look like, what you want to do with your time, and who you are without this habit.

First, I want you to see that the fact that you’re experiencing some of these bigger questions is a gift. It means there is space opening up, and the habit is no longer consuming every bit of your attention. Boredom can be a gentle motivator to discover new things for yourself, and you do not have to rush this. You do not have to create an amazing new life overnight. You do not need to suddenly become a person with 10 hobbies, perfect routines, or constant joy. You can start very small.

The reason it could feel challenging at first is simply because by bingeing in response to boredom, you haven’t truly given yourself a chance to discover new things to fill your time. I’m not talking about trying one new thing and then deciding it’s “not as good as bingeing;” I’m talking about really deciding that bingeing is never an option—no matter how bored you are and no matter how unsatisfying new activities feel at first—and committing to that over the long term.

Eight categories of things to do

I want to give you a simple framework that you can use to start to help yourself in these moments when life feels boring or flat without bingeing, or when the lower brain produces the common thought that “there’s nothing else to do except binge.”

This is simply never true, and you can see this by realizing that you would never tell someone else that there is nothing to do except binge. At every moment, there are millions of people doing a multitude of things that do not involve bingeing.

You can always find something to occupy your time, but when you’re out of practice doing other things, it can help to have a framework to remind your brain that there are other things to do. The framework is eight simple categories of things to do that you can use to guide you or to brainstorm. I recommend writing down as many ideas as you can think of in each category.

Connection
Involves reaching out to others in some way, such as calling a friend or writing a letter. It could include spending time with or making plans to spend time with people that you care about, or determining how to meet someone new.
Creativity
This could be any project or hobby such as writing, art, home projects, or music.
Recovery
I included this category to remind you that during times when you feel bored, you can turn to binge-eating recovery resources. You can journal, you can join a recovery community like the Brain over Binge Group or any other community.
Responsibilities
This includes all of those necessary things in life that we simply have to do to make our lives function—like running errands, doing chores, completing tasks, or paying bills.
Self-care
Any form of relaxation or rest or any form of hygiene that you enjoy, like a warm shower or skincare.
Fun
This could include a wide variety of things that you could possibly find pleasure in, from something as simple as playing with your dog to taking a trip.
Service
You can do something to help a cause that you care about. You can do something kind for a neighbor, or do volunteer work. When you’re really feeling stuck in your own mind, it can really help to shift to thinking about how you can best help someone else.
Purpose
You can engage in something that makes life more meaningful to you. This could include things like evaluating your career path or determining how to get involved in your community. It can also include any form of spiritual practice that connects you with who you believe yourself to be on a deeper level.

You will likely be able to think of other categories as well, but doing any of these things or anything else that you find personally beneficial can support you in riding out the urges, and countering the faulty lower brain story that “bingeing is the only thing to do” or that “recovery is boring”.

The main message here is that although you absolutely can be bored and still not binge, you do not have to stay stuck in boredom either. Celebrate yourself when you do anything from these categories instead of following the urge. Even if the activity you chose felt flat or you still couldn’t quite shake the boredom, you still did an amazing thing for yourself by choosing boredom over pain.

Trust that your body and brain will adjust in time. Trust that boredom is not an emergency. Boredom is the start of a better life for yourself.

_________________

Do you need more help as you stop binge eating?

Free Inspiration Booklet – The booklet contains 31 daily messages to help you stay focused and motivated each day as you let go of binge eating.

Group Coaching – Includes 4 group coaching calls per week with Kathryn. You’ll also get access to a forum for encouragement and accountability, and course access.

Brain over Binge Books – Get Brain over Binge and the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide on Amazon and Audible.

Ep. 205: Having an Aligned Identity (with Coach Julie)

by Kathryn Hansen

Ep. 204: Boredom is Better Than Bingeing

by Kathryn Hansen

A Binge Is Never Inevitable

by Kathryn Hansen

(This blog post is based on the transcript of Episode 193: Rejecting the Binge Inevitability Mindset)

I want to talk about something that comes up often in coaching, which is something I also remember well from my own experience with bingeing, and that’s what I’m calling the binge inevitability mindset. This mindset is when you find yourself thinking, feeling, and believing that a binge is inevitable. When you have this mindset, it usually drives you to binge in that very moment or soon after.

The inevitability mindset can sound something like, “I know I’m going to binge at some point anyway, so I might as well just do it now,” or “Even if I get through this urge, another one is going to show up and I’ll eventually give in, so I might as well just binge and get it over with.”

It can seem “logical” to give in to the urge in those moments—almost like you’re saving yourself from future pain by just going ahead and bingeing now. It can feel like you’re checking a box on your to-do list by taking care of something you know you need to do anyway.

But bingeing is never a to-do item. It’s not something you ever need and it’s never inevitable or destined to happen at some point. In this post, I’ll walk you through how to recognize this binge inevitability mindset and how to shift your response so that it no longer drives you into harmful behavior.

**Understanding the lower brain to understand the inevitability thoughts**

As a little background for this discussion, it’s important for you to understand that in the Brain over Binge approach, it’s always the urges to binge that are the direct cause of binge eating. An urge to binge is any thought, feeling, or physical sensation that encourages a binge. (If you’re new here, you can learn more about the urges to binge in Episode 2: The Cause of Binge Eating Urges to Binge).

The urges are produced by the more primitive part of the brain, which I call the lower brain (you can learn more about the lower brain in Episode 3: The Lower and Higher Brain at Work in Binge Eating). The lower brain’s job is primarily survival, pleasure, pain avoidance, and maintaining habits and behaviors that it senses to be helpful in achieving those goals. The lower brain’s concern is your immediate survival and/or pleasure, not your long-term goals.

This primitive nature is vital to our continued existence on earth; however, in the case of bad habits and addictions, it can work against us. When you develop a binge eating habit, the lower brain becomes conditioned to react as if you truly need binge eating. This happens in all addictions so that the object of the addiction feels like a complete necessity, and in moments of urges for that substance/behavior, it can feel like your life depends on you getting that substance or performing that behavior.

**The inevitability thoughts have no predictive power**

With this in mind about the lower brain, it only makes sense that you think binge eating is inevitable. The binge inevitability mindset should really come as no surprise. Your brain saying bingeing is inevitable is like your brain telling you that drinking water is inevitable. The lower brain is not your enemy; it’s only encouraging the behaviors that it has learned along the way because it senses that’s what you need.

But you are wiser now. You can distinguish true needs from bad habits and addictions, and knowing the difference helps you stop giving the binge inevitability thoughts any special significance or meaning. You can start to see those thoughts as simply an expression of the lower brain doing its job, and its job is to get you to binge now.

The lower brain does not have a conception of the future, and it’s not involved in your future plans. It just automatically produces thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations to get you to do the behavior it thinks you need in the moment.

This is where it gets really interesting because the lower brain does not actually know that you’ll binge in the future. The future is not even its concern. It’s not in charge of your executive functions in your higher brain that do control your long-term planning. So, the binge inevitability thoughts have no basis in reality. They’re just there to encourage bingeing in that very moment, and they actually have nothing to do with what you’ll eventually do in the future.

Like all thoughts encouraging binge eating or other addictions, binge inevitability thoughts are based in faulty logic. There’s no true wisdom in these thoughts, and in no way can these thoughts predict your future actions. Nevertheless, if binge inevitability thoughts “work” to get you to binge, they will keep coming up over and over (as long as you keep following them). So, what actually makes binge eating inevitable is not the thoughts themselves, it’s you believing and following those thoughts.

Then the next question becomes, how do you stop following those thoughts so that binge eating is no longer inevitable?

What I’ve already shared is a big first step: Just seeing through these thoughts and understanding that it’s just the lower brain’s automatic programming. But it can also help to go a little deeper and talk about this binge inevitability mindset, not only in terms of thought, but in terms of feeling.

**When it feels like a binge is inevitable**

I know that sometimes it can truly feel as if a binge is inevitable. It’s not always just a thought in your brain. Sometimes it’s a very deep feeling of powerlessness over that desire to binge and a feeling that you simply can’t resist binge eating day after day, so it seems inevitable that you’ll eventually give in.

I remember during my worst binge eating days, it really felt like I didn’t have a choice. It seemed like I was driven by a force beyond my control, and that made me feel out of control. It did feel inevitable that whatever that force was would eventually take over, even if I was able to avoid it for a few days.

In my early days of bingeing when I was also dieting, this feeling of being taken over was definitely driven by the survival instincts (in response to calorie deprivation). Looking back, it was not inevitable that I binge in response to that restriction, but what I really needed was to add more food throughout my day. Since I didn’t do that, my primitive brain stepped in with that strong desire to eat everything in sight until I was sick.

The food deprivation—without any attempts to correct it on my part—put me in a position where binge eating did truly feel inevitable. If you’re caught up in dieting right now, I don’t want to scare you that it’s inevitable that you’ll binge, but if you do want to avoid bingeing, it is inevitable that you need to add more food in order to get yourself out of the cycle.

If you do not nourish yourself, you’ll continue to struggle with this, and the bingeing will feel like something you cannot avoid. You can think of it like pulling a rubber band back—there’s only so far you can pull it back before it inevitably slingshots in the other direction. That’s what happens when you restrict and won’t stop restricting, and it inevitably ends in a binge.

Emotional connections to binge inevitability

I also know that not everyone’s binge inevitability mindset comes from restriction, and even in my own case, it did eventually stop stemming from restriction. Once I was in therapy, I did add more food to my day so that I was eating a normal amount of calories (and I was still bingeing on top of that). This was the case because my lower brain still sensed that I needed the binges—both to protect me against future starvation and also because binge eating was a well-ingrained habit at that point. It was as if I trained my primitive brain to “need” massive amounts of food.

I also think that the feelings of inevitability came from the fact that I thought I needed to binge on an emotional level as well. I learned in therapy that binge eating was a coping mechanism for problems and emotions in my life. So, I thought that as long as I was not coping well with those things, then a binge was inevitable. I thought binge eating would be inevitable until I did things like improve my self-esteem, overcome my anxiety, or resolve feelings of loneliness or grief or shame.

If you’re in that place where you feel like you have strong connections between your emotions/life’s problems and your bingeing, I just want you to imagine for a minute what it would be like if nothing made binge eating inevitable. What if, even in the most difficult circumstances, you never felt like a binge was something that was destined to happen, even if you did not cope well.

Nothing makes binge eating inevitable

It’s so freeing to know that no matter what, a binge is not the solution—not to stress, not to pain, not to anxiety or loneliness or loss or embarrassment, or even to happiness or celebration. Knowing this gives you the power to recognize and to dismiss the binge inevitability thoughts—because you know that nothing in your life, nothing in your emotions, nothing in your past, and nothing in your future can make binge eating inevitable.

The only thing that can make you binge is following the urge to binge, and you can learn to not follow that urge regardless of what is going on in your life. If you’re new here and want to make progress in this area, you can learn my five components of dismissing urges to binge in Episodes 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 of the Brain over Binge Podcast.

Once you know that nothing makes binge eating inevitable—not even food restriction, because the solution to that is eating more food in normal amounts—you’re in the best position possible to dismiss the binge inevitability thoughts and feelings. You can stop giving them any special attention. You can stop thinking those thoughts and feelings have any power of prediction. You can stop giving those thoughts and feelings any value whatsoever.

Stop fighting urges to reduce feelings of inevitability

I have two final points that I hope will help you as you start separating from the binge inevitability mindset and realizing that it does not represent your truth. The first thing is that this mindset may come up more often when you’re trying to fight the urges. If you’re trying to argue with the urges or trying to will them away, it can start to feel so exhausting that you think you’re destined to tire out and give in.

It’s important to know that it’s not going to be comfortable to have the urges, but you can reduce the struggle when you stop trying to fight the experience. You can learn to be with the urges and do whatever you need to do in those moments to care for yourself (or distract yourself if that’s helpful), but you do not have to argue with the urge feelings and the urge thoughts. You can learn to let the urges be there without feeling like you have to make them go away.

If you’re in the habit of fighting urges, you may notice that as soon as the urge appears, you may have a binge inevitability thought like, “You know you can’t resist this for long, so you might as well binge now to avoid the struggle.” In a way, this can seem “logical” because it can feel like by binge eating, you’re protecting yourself from a future struggle with the urges. Just know that with some practice in learning how to detach from the urges, it does not have to feel like such a struggle, and you’ll gladly accept the discomfort of the urge over the harm of a binge.

Even though dismissing urges can be challenging, you know that giving in and binge eating is never the solution. Bingeing creates an even more exhausting struggle that negatively impacts so many parts of your life. Binge eating is never a way to save yourself from a challenging situation; it’s only a way to create more pain.

Trying is always better than giving in to inevitability thoughts

My final point about the binge inevitability mindset is that it can sometimes seem like your way of protecting yourself from trying and then failing. As soon as you get an urge, it may seem “logical” to go ahead and give in now, because if you try to avoid a binge and you still end up bingeing, you may think it will feel even worse and you may think of yourself as a failure.

The thought might be something like, “Well, if I binge now, at least I won’t have to deal with the disappointment of trying and then failing later.” Giving in right away just resigns you to the outcome without you needing to put in the effort to try. It’s completely understandable for you to feel this way, because I know how frustrating it is to try to avoid a binge just to end up giving in. It makes sense that you would want to avoid that feeling of trying and failing.

But the truth is—even if you do end up bingeing later—it’s always, always better to try. Every time you don’t act on an urge right away, you’re strengthening the pathways that you need to break this habit. When you’re making change, you have to allow yourself to step into some discomfort, knowing that the discomfort of the urge is so much more manageable than the pain of a binge. Choosing the pain of a binge right away to avoid potential failure just guarantees feelings of being a failure and it guarantees pain. But choosing to be with the urge for any amount of time builds your ability to have success.

Every minute that you don’t act on the urge, you’re proving to yourself that change is possible. Yes, you’re taking a risk that you may give in later, but tell yourself that giving in later is always better than giving in now. Also remind yourself that if you keep dismissing the binge inevitability thoughts, you can avoid a binge later too, and the next time, and the time after that until the habit fades.

I hope that the next time you have a thought or a feeling that a binge is inevitable, you realize it never is!

_________________

Do you need more help as you stop binge eating?

Free Inspiration Booklet – The booklet contains 31 daily messages to help you stay focused and motivated each day as you let go of binge eating.

Group Coaching – Includes 4 group coaching calls per week with Kathryn. You’ll also get access to a forum for encouragement and accountability, and course access.

Brain over Binge Books – Get Brain over Binge and the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide on Amazon and Audible.