Hunger and fullness signals are an often-discussed topic in the eating disorder space, but today, I’m going to go beyond that to discuss what I’m calling stop and go signals and to explain how these signals come into play in binge eating recovery.

Stop and go signals aren’t the same as our physical cues of hunger and fullness. The go signals are primarily thoughts, but also feelings and sensations, that drive us to eat (or keep eating), and they are independent of actual physical hunger. The reason I say go signals are primarily thoughts is because the physical feelings and sensations are usually more indicative of actual hunger, but you can definitely still have physical sensations encouraging eating when you’re not truly hungry.

For example, a go signal could occur when you’ve finished eating a meal, and you’ve had plenty of food and possibly even dessert, but then your thoughts keep telling you to eat more—even though you’re full. These go signals can also occur when you’re not hungry at all, but you see some delicious food or you’re offered something to eat, and your thoughts and cravings encourage you to have some. The most extreme go signals are the urges to binge, which drive you to eat so far past fullness that it’s painful.

The stop signals are primarily thoughts, but also feelings and sensations, that tell us to stop eating—which are also independent of actual hunger or fullness. The stop signals I’m talking about here primarily show up if you are restricting. I’m not talking about the stop signals that come up after you’ve had a reasonable, nourishing amount of food. Problematic stop signals come up when you’re actually hungry or you physically need more food, but you think and believe that you should stop eating in order to control your weight or because eating is somehow “wrong.” The stop signals tend to be very self-critical and come with a lot of guilt.

 It’s not just binge eaters—everyone has stop and go signals

What both the stop and go signals show us is that our thoughts and feelings encouraging eating (or eating more) are not always based on hunger, and on the other hand, our thoughts and feelings encouraging us to stop eating are not always based in fullness. This is something that people with or without a current or past eating disorder have to deal with, especially in the modern food environment that we live in. Highly processed, highly stimulating, highly pleasurable foods can turn up our food desires, promote more food thoughts, and rev up our cravings—in other words, increase the go signals around food. Additionally, those very same foods can also create some of the problematic stop signals in our minds as well. If we tell ourselves that certain foods are “bad,” or if we’re worried that certain foods will lead to weight gain, it can lead to restrictive thoughts telling us to stop eating (or avoid eating in the first place), even if we’re hungry.

Food is not just fuel, and you are not broken

There is a common analogy about eating being like filling the gas tank of your car, and that analogy makes sense if we’re strictly talking about hunger and fullness—you fill your stomach or your gas tank when it gets low and stop when it is full. But, when we’re talking about these stop and go signals, this analogy doesn’t hold up. There’s just so much more to human food decisions and consumption, especially with all of the modern foods that we have available.

Cars don’t face tempting food (fuel) on a daily basis, or social settings where there is pressure to overeat, or highly processed options that can make cravings and desires stronger. Basically, we’re facing a lot more challenges than a car that simply needs energy to run, and I think it’s important for everyone in recovery to come to terms with this. I encourage you to accept that hunger and fullness don’t tell the whole story, and that you’ll need to learn to make peace with the stop and go signals as well.

Having stop and go signals does not make you broken or mean that something is wrong with you, and this is something I frequently remind people of in my books, blog, and podcast. Everyone with or without an eating disorder has to deal with the effect that modern food has on the brain’s reward system, and everyone also has to deal with the messages telling us that certain foods are “bad,” so we should stop eating them. When you realize you are not alone and this is simply the way the brain works, it puts you in a more powerful place to start making choices that are best for you.

I want to say here that—even though everyone has some form of these stop and go signals—they are a lot stronger in people who struggle with bingeing and restricting. Furthermore, because restricting leads to bingeing, when the stop signals are strong and you follow the thoughts telling you not to eat, this has the effect of strengthening the go signals—which can lead to urges to binge. The result of strong and opposing stop and go signals is the dangerous restrict-binge cycle.

Why we have stop and go signals in addition to hunger and fullness signals

I want to dive a little deeper into why we have the stop and go signals. These are primal or primitive brain signals, which are part of the reward system in our brain that has helped humans survive by motivating us to perform behaviors that are necessary for our existence. Eating is basically at the top of that list of necessary (and pleasurable) behaviors.

Our primitive brain’s reward system has three basic goals: 1.) To survive, 2.) To seek pleasure, and 3.) To avoid pain. Some experts also add a fourth goal that is: To exert as little effort as possible.

When we’re talking about hunger and fullness signals, it’s more about that first goal of survival, but of course eating also brings pleasure and helps us avoid the pain of hunger. When it comes to stop and go signals, it’s no longer just about basic survival. The go signals are primarily about meeting that primitive goal of seeking pleasure and also avoiding any discomfort that comes with craving.

The stop signals are a little less clear as far as being a primitive drive, because often these messages arise from cultural conditioning and expectations surrounding how we should look or what we should eat. While it’s fine to want to eat well and take care of our bodies, when we make ourselves stop eating (or not eat in the first place) when we need food, this goes against our survival. However, it can feel like it’s helping us fulfill other needs like being accepted or connected with others or feeling safe, and that can seem like it’s meeting some of those primal needs for pleasure and pain avoidance. Plus, once repeated enough, the stop and go signals become habitual as well, and our habits are driven by the primal brain.

You are not powerless against stop and go signals

What is paramount to know is that your higher brain—your more rational, human brain—has the capacity to override any primitive, conditioned, and habitual thoughts and feelings—and that includes the stop and go signals. This is one of the fundamental principles of Brain over Binge, and you can learn more about the higher brain in Podcast Episode 3: The Lower and Higher Brain at Work in Binge Eating.

If you know you need to eat enough food to recover, but your thoughts keep telling you to stop so that you can restrict and lose weight, you can absolutely keep eating in spite of those signals. You can learn to be aware of your brain’s own patterns, you can notice the thoughts that arise, and you can know that these stop signals are faulty, and you can nourish yourself anyway. It’s the same for the go signals. You should allow for food enjoyment, but you can also recognize that when you eat certain foods, your brain may tell you to “go, go, go” and eat excessively, and even to binge. You can use your higher brain to control your actions and choosing a stopping point in spite of these go signals.

This is something that I think should be taught to us from a very young age, especially with the modern foods that we have available. People can be quick to blame the food manufacturers, and yes, there is some responsibility there, but this post is not about that. It’s about helping you take back your own power and realize that any go signals you have around these foods are not destiny. It’s necessary to accept that you will have these signals and not to be scared of them.

What often happens is that people are around tempting food, or they eat tempting food, and then they naturally have thoughts telling them to eat “more, more, more,” and they start having anxiety and negative thoughts about their desires. They might think, “oh my gosh, what’s wrong with me, why do I want so much of this food, why do I lack control?” These thoughts are not productive and having go signals never means you lack control.

It’s much more helpful to think, “oh, of course my brain is signaling me to eat more of this highly pleasurable, highly stimulating food because my brain is wired for pleasure. It’s only natural that I’m having these go signals, but these signals and feelings of desire are safe. I can learn to have feelings of wanting for food, and still be okay, and still have a choice about what I eat.”

Even after recovery, you’ll have something pleasurable like a cookie and your brain will probably want another one, but that doesn’t mean there’s a problem. You can feel those go signals, you can understand them, you can know that it doesn’t mean you’re broken, and then you can decide to have another cookie or not. The good news is that after you stop the binge eating habit, these go signals are so much less strong, and the idea of continuing to eat and eat—let’s say until you’ve had the whole pack of cookies—that just seems like the opposite of pleasure. But you will still have go signals—to a much lesser extent—so I want you to have the proper expectations so that you’re not surprised when you have desires for some extra food pleasure. Always remember that the go signals are normal, but they do not have to dictate what you choose to do.

We have stop and go signals in other parts of life, not just around food

I thought of an example recently regarding these signals and how we need to be more accepting of them, but also not let them lead us into harmful actions. The example that came to mind has to do with sports because I love sports, and I think there are so many life lessons to be learned from them. It’s also timely with the Olympics going on as I’m writing this.

If you read Brain over Binge, you know that I ran track and cross country in high school and college, and now my daughter is actually running track in high school. As an aside, my running got wrapped up in very unhealthy weight obsessions and eventually resulted in many injuries, stress fractures, and an inability to continue to compete. To my daughter’s credit, she’s participating in this sport in a vastly healthier way than I did, and I’m so thankful for that.

The point of this story is that my daughter and I had a conversation recently about stop signals while running. We talked about the fact that—in every single race that we’ve ever run—our thoughts try to convince us to stop. I think this is extremely common, and I’m sure a lot of you can relate if you participate in sports. As I’ve talked about, the brain wants to survive, seek pleasure, and avoid pain, so exerting yourself strenuously in a race (for seemingly no reason at all to your brain—it’s not like there’s a lion chasing you!) is really the opposite of pleasure. It’s very painful, and it also goes against that fourth goal that I talked about of exerting as little effort as possible, so it only makes sense that the brain tells us to stop.

My daughter and I also talked about how we have a lot of justifications for stopping going through our minds too. It’s just something you learn to expect, but you still finish the race in spite of what is going on in your brain, and I know this is not just applicable to runners. Now, I’m sure there are some extremely mentally strong people out there who don’t have these stop signals when performing something strenuous. Maybe the Olympians don’t have them or can override them so well in order to get to such a high level in their sport. But I think all athletes learn to ignore these signals to some extent, and perform the physical endeavor anyway. The brain wants comfort and safety, but if you want to grow and improve, you have to push your own limits.

Of course, sometimes there are real reasons for needing to heed and follow stop signals in a race or any athletic event, but that’s in rare circumstances like when injury occurs. What I’m talking about here is what happens the majority of the time when you simply keep racing or keep performing in spite of the thoughts telling you to stop.

I’m going to bring this back to eating now to say that eating a delicious, highly stimulating food is basically the opposite of running a race. Instead of the brain saying stop in a race, it says go for more food because it wants that pleasure. The takeaway here is that those go signals never have to prevent you from stopping after a reasonable amount of food—just like those stop signals don’t have to prevent you from going on to finish the race.

When eating the pleasurable food or running the race, you simply have to understand that those signals will be there, but also that you have the ability to do what you need to do anyway—whether that’s crossing the finish line or putting away the bag of chips after a normal amount. When you aim to eat a food that’s challenging for you, you can know that you’re committed to eating a normal amount of it no matter what your brain says, just like you can be committed to finishing any race you start. The race may not look pretty, the eating may not be perfect, but you can commit to doing your best and not listening to the thoughts that try to distract you from your goal.

The last insight around this racing analogy that I’ll talk about here is that you absolutely can be selective about the races you choose to run or the foods you choose to eat. I would never tell my daughter—who primarily runs the mile—to sign up for a marathon and then to just ignore all of her thoughts telling her to stop. That would be foolish and dangerous. The takeaway when it comes to food is to go at your own pace with eating foods that bring up challenging go signals. You may not feel ready for certain foods right now, and that’s okay. You can be strategic until you get more practice.

You can also go at your own pace when it comes to stop signals around food as well. It’s possible that you’ve developed some food fears over time and your brain is telling you not to eat them at all. Or it’s possible that when you do choose to eat certain foods, you feel extreme guilt and your brain says to stop eating them. It can be a gradual process to learn that you can choose to eat any food and override the guilt and the stop signals, but you don’t have to start eating anything and everything right away.

The overall message in this post is that your stop and go signals are a normal function of the primitive part of your brain, but you can use your higher brain to overcome these signals to make the choices that you want to make. You can do this with self-awareness and self-compassion. I hope that this discussion will help you learn to eat a fear food that you want to add back into your life or learn to find a reasonable stopping point when eating a food that is challenging for you.

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If you want more help as you stop binge eating and learn to eating normally (in spite of the stop and go signals), you can check out the following Brain over Binge resources:

One-on-one Coaching – Book a 45-minute private and highly personalized session with Kathryn or Coach Julie. You will learn to change your thinking, uncover what is holding you back, and get on a path to complete freedom from food issues.

Group Coaching – Get help from coach Julie and support from others who are overcoming this habit. Includes a forum that is open 24/7, group coaching calls, mindfulness resources, plus course access.

Brain over Binge Course – Self-paced online lessons (plus an app) for only $18.99/month. Includes over 125 tracks to listen to that give you the information and answers you need as you end binge eating.